Being the daughter of a mother with fibromyalgia is difficult, it can certainly put pressure on this mother-daughter relationship because it sometimes feels more like a relationship between you and your mother’s fibromyalgia than a relationship between you and your mother. I have learned that there are good and bad days.
The days when she needs more support, help, more positive words, love, etc., and there are days when she needs space because she feels a little more worthless, a little more emotional, and a little more frustrated. I don’t know anything about anyone else, but I was blessed with a beautiful, wonderful mother! He who is a great model, someone who shows a lot of strength and perseverance. I learned a lot from my mother, but I want her to know that although fibromyalgia can be terrible and sometimes make life unbearable, Mama, I hope you know that I love you the moon and back and always will be , whatever happens.
Being the daughter of a mother with fibromyalgia made me realize and accept that there will be days when Mom will need me to go to town to go shopping because I have to walk around town, walk around the store, and wear it heavy bags can make her really tired and really hurt.
There will be days when she needs an extra hug. There will be things that are missed, such as choral concerts or sporting events, because getting up, getting ready and sitting for 2 hours in an uncomfortable auditorium chair will only make things worse tomorrow.
But I learned that I don’t mind if she misses some of these things, because I know she always thinks of me when I do them, and she’s always excited to hear about them when she goes home.
Being the daughter of a mother with fibromyalgia can be difficult because on some days you feel so helpless, which is one of the worst things! Seeing your mother suffer and fight is hard, and knowing that she wants to do more than her body allows physically is so hard to see.
Mom, I just hope you know I’m here for the good and the bad days. I am always there as a solid foundation for you. A shoulder to cry, on the not so good days, a person to laugh uncontrollably with the good extra days, a person to give back to the most frustrating days, and I’m also here to try and put a smile on your face to conjure up every day. Because even though I am the daughter of a mother with fibromyalgia, I am also the daughter of a damn good mother!
“I love you to madness!”
Love, your “punkin”
door Haley Puddicombe
A letter of thanks from a mother with fibromyalgia to her daughters
Life has certainly been difficult because this situation has raised its ugly head. My life has been turned upside down and things will never be the same again. But that does not only apply to me, it also applies to you. I realize it and I try to understand that my life as I have known it will never be the same again. But I also learn that life, as you know, has also changed. I don’t know when things started to change, but when I look back on little girls, I remember a lot of fun moments, lots of laughter and lots of adventures.
As we grew older, we still managed to have incredible fun and lots of laughter. But things have changed in recent years. I never said no to what we had to face today. Shopping, family trips, camping, everything we wanted to do as a family. My life started to slow down, my physical well-being was far from what it once was. I have now learned that I have fibromyalgia.
Things just won’t be the same. Your girls have seen me change and slow down. I will no longer be able to do the things I used to do, and I will not be able to do things with you as before. Few families understand what fibromyalgia is or how it affects a family. But since the first day, since I learned that I’m not doing well, you’ve made progress, you’ve learned that things are going to change, you’ve never questioned it, you’ve just followed. You have never questioned this new reality that you are dealing with.
You girls have learned that the things I used to do I can’t do anymore. You have learned that on some days I push further than I should. And the biggest thing you learned was the more mom you used to have. That’s important for a 17-year-old and a 13-year-old, but none of you wondered what was going on, why it happened, or how it would affect you. You girls now had to adjust to a new normal like I had to, and yet you never missed a beat.
You learned to know when I need extra help, when I need you to shop for me or when I just need time. You have learned to read my face and know when things are not going well and you seem to know things that might help me. Since I have been confronted with this condition, you have also learned that my moods were sometimes unpredictable, happy for one minute, crazy for the other and soon in tears. You must have learned the hard way that every mood is unpredictable.
But you drive it and don’t question it. I always went to school and extracurricular activities, but now, if it’s a bad day, you understand that going to activities can cause more pain and the next day becomes more uncomfortable and you are more extended. You girls, you always seem to know when mother needs a little more love and a little more attention.
Hugs and kisses, “favors”, shopping, chores and all the daily things for which I need help, you know when it’s needed. Since this new reality has become our life, you have never given up hope for me or for me. It is something that no child of your age should deal with, but it works with grace and strength. You have never written off who I am now or feel less like a mother.
Small gestures such as hugs and kisses, flowers, help around the house, or sending me on the couch when you know I have done a lot, it means more than you will ever know. I am a lucky mother in many ways. Most importantly, I am the proud mother of two incredible girls that I love to see on the moon and back. My “punkin” and my “boo” … I love you more than you will ever know!